Bean-Hole Beans

There aren't many things in this world that go together as naturally as Yankees and beans. And every True Yankee will tell you, the best beans are made in a bean-hole. Although the Art and Zen of the Bean-Hole has long been a closely guarded Yankee secret, shrouded in mystery, wrapped in enigma, seldom even whispered about beyond the Village boundaries, we will now reveal to you, the Global Village, The Glorious Truth of the Bean-Hole Bean.

We hope our Yankee brethren will forgive us, but we do this for the benefit of all humanity.

The Bean-Hole Bean

• step 1: Dig a hole in the backyard about 3 feet wide and 4-5 feet deep. Some people like to line their bean-hole with bricks or stones, but a plain, unlined hole will do.
  
• step 2: Wake up at about 3 am. Drink a Tilton Hydraulic Pancake
  
• step 3: Make a fire in the Bean-Hole. This should be a wood fire, not coal or charcoal. You may decide to use specific types of wood, (oak, cedar, mahogany, teak....) but oak is standard. Keep the fire burning all night long, until there is a deep bed of hot coals.
  
• step 4: Place the pot of beans in the bean-hole.
  
• step 5: Cover the Bean-Hole. We always started by covering the hole with a piece of sheet metal or a lid from a metal drum, then covering that with a big tarp, and then we'd cover the whole thing with dirt or sand.
  
• step 6: Wait for a long, long time. ( this time is usually filled by either quiet contemplation, serious consumption of Tilton Hydraulic Pancakes or a game of Horseshoes.)
  
• step 7: Uncover the Bean-Hole, remove the Bean-Pot, eat the Beans. We recommend first seasoning the beans with a bit of Abbott's Maple Syrup.

                    Enjoy.